Lonely Rooms

Photo by Nolan Issac on Unsplash

Photo by Nolan Issac on Unsplash

The practice of feng shui is connected to how we move through our homes. Feng shui translates to “wind and water”; think about how each of those elements flows through a space. How do you connect with the spaces in your home? 

Good places to look at are any areas that are lonely or neglected. For example, my closet has been pretty lonely lately, since I’ve been spending so much more time at home and not wearing as many of my clothes. Clothing represents how we show up in the world, so that’s something to reflect on if you also have a lonely closet: how are you showing up in the world right now? To find another layer of meaning, I can look at what area of the bagua my closet is in, and reflect on what is going on in that area of my life.

Once you’ve identified a lonely room or an area of your home that’s been neglected, notice what’s happening there. Is there dust accumulating? Are you tossing stuff randomly and using it as storage? Try personifying that area and thinking about how that room might feel given how you are treating it. You can start by recognizing that and apologizing. Also, notice if it symbolizes anything in your life. It may not be symbolic, but it’s something to look at and be curious about. 

This idea also extends to the people in your life. Especially right now, a lot of people are feeling lonely. Even as an introvert, after months without contact, I’m starting to miss people! Think about who in your life may be lonely, and how you can connect with them. You may not necessarily need to apologize to them for not being in touch, but you can offer them some attention. By connecting with someone else, you’ll also receive something in return.

Even though we each have our own little bubbles of energy, we’re actually all interconnected. When you start to acknowledge and care for the lonely rooms in your home, the lonely people in your life, or the lonely aspects of yourself, the insight and joy that comes from that experience radiates. For example, if you start to pay attention to a lonely room, that joy starts to permeate the rest of your house. Then it starts to permeate your heart, and then the people in your life, and beyond. When we make a change, we don’t just affect the lives of people we know; we can also profoundly change the world.

Start with your home; that’s what feng shui is about. What can you do about the lonely rooms in your home? Notice how the energy you give to these rooms starts to resonate out to other areas of your life. 

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui questions!

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui, check out Mindful Design Feng Shui School at: www.mindfuldesignschool.com

Q&A Sunday: How to Set Better Boundaries

Photo by Duong Chung on Unsplash

Photo by Duong Chung on Unsplash

I have been feeling depleted and overwhelmed lately, and I think it has to do with not having strong enough boundaries. Do you have any suggestions to help with this?

Thanks for your question! Boundaries are something that a lot of people struggle with, myself included. In feng shui, boundaries are related to the earth element. Earth is about taking care of yourself while at the same time taking care of others, and being able to strike that balance. For people who tend to have too much earth, like myself, it can mean we put other people first and take care of others, often at our own expense. Earth is a heavy element, so this translates to a lot of weight and heaviness. 

One way of not honoring your boundaries is saying yes to something you don’t actually want to do. I’ve definitely experienced this before! When you say yes, but you actually mean no (or when you haven’t even thought it through fully), you’re offering without the correct balance of generosity. The other person probably doesn’t want what you are offering, because they can feel that energetically. Nobody wants to receive something from someone who’s overwhelmed and resentful. 

The biggest generosity we can offer ourselves is the gift of saying no, which creates space. Often we fill up our spaces—both our homes and our schedules—because there’s a fear of space. We’re afraid of what happens when we’re just left with ourselves.

Saying yes to everything also means you are letting everything in and depleting your energy. When I started getting aura readings, my healer told me that my energy field was very porous because I had poor boundaries and was letting too much in. 

I noticed this recently too - this spring, I was very sick and I received a lot of emails from people who needed things from me. I thought I was being clear by saying that I was sick and unable to help, but still I was getting so many requests from people. I realized that by even responding, I was being unclear. Sometimes nonresponse is the clearest way to respond. 

It’s important to be crystal clear with your boundaries. Take care of yourself, and listen to your needs. Sometimes, it means saying no. Sometimes it means not responding. You may even want to try saying no first, and then you can backtrack later and say yes if you change your mind, instead of the other way around. I hope that helps - let me know how it goes! 

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui questions!

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui, check out Mindful Design Feng Shui School at: www.mindfuldesignschool.com

Clutter and Feng Shui

Photo by Julia Joppien on Unsplash

Photo by Julia Joppien on Unsplash

Feng shui is really about connecting to the cycles of nature. When we pay attention to what is happening in the world around us, we can harness that energy to make shifts in our homes and our lives. With Virgo season coming up, it’s a perfect time to focus on organization, decluttering, and shifting any stagnant energy in your home. 

When feng shui was developed in ancient China, there really wasn’t any clutter. People didn’t have all the stuff we have now. It’s a modern issue, and also a big issue for a lot of people. However, not all clutter is bad. As a feng shui consultant and an architect, I’ve worked very closely with many people in their homes, and I’ve heard so many apologies about clutter. Often, it’s really not that bad; people can be really hard on themselves.

There are some indications that you should look at clutter. For instance, are there areas of your home that you haven’t touched in a long time? Maybe there’s a place that’s full of stuff you haven’t even looked at in years? I recently did a consultation for a client who was aware that she had an area in her office that was full of stuff from her partner's old job. This clutter was in the relationship area of her office, which is related to business partners and clients. This area is also related to self care and self love, which turned out to be something that my client needed to work on. 

When you accumulate a lot of clutter, it also can become difficult to work with because it starts to collect yin qi, which is related to death - picture a light fixture full of dust and dead flies. Yin qi isn’t bad, but you want to have a balance of yin and yang, not too much of either. 

In my own home, there was a top shelf in my kitchen that I hadn’t touched in quite some time. There were extra plates there, and recently some of them fell and broke. It was a message that I needed to pay attention to certain areas of my life that I’ve neglected. Your home talks to you, and lets you know what needs to be worked on. If you’re not attuned to it, and you’re moving through your life really quickly, it’s easy to miss those messages from the phenomenal world.

If I ask you if there’s an area of your home that has clutter that you need to work on, there’s probably something that pops into your head. Don’t overthink it - your first thought is your best thought. Go to that area and start to stir up the qi by giving it some attention. If you need some extra help, sign up for our Virgo Season Space Activation and use the celestial energies of the cosmos to help you get a kick start. 

by Anjie Cho

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui questions!

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui, check out Mindful Design Feng Shui School at: www.mindfuldesignschool.com