Q&A Sunday: Feng Shui for a Father and Daughter

We moved into a rental empty apartment, myself and adult daughter, and need to maximize space also because we love lots of space and room just to be. One room is big enough for a full bed and desk and has one small door for closet. The other room has one side wall as a huge closet and one small closet on the opposite wall for things like books. It has a mirror that will face east and the water, but shines into the bed no matter what position the bed is placed (so it can be covered at night). Because my ex and my son come to visit, I thought about a daybed with a trundle so when none of us are there, she has room for exercise also, since it has a big mirror, and to spend time during the day at the daybed. However I will be living with her for a while and do not wish to create bad energy for myself or future for herself. Can you please advise?

Syl P., Providence, RI

Hi Syl,

Thanks for writing in. I have not seen your floor plan, but in general it sounds like you need advice on how you’re going to survive living with your adult daughter in a small space. There is also the consideration of hosting your ex and your son. Since you wish to not create bad energy for yourself or for your daughter, I’m sensing there is some negativity there already. 

There are, of course, the mundane space planning aspect, but it sounds like you’ve thought this through. And since there’s no floor plan, there’s not much I can advise on. But what I can offer you is some tools to work with uplifting the space. 

Somethings to look out for:

  • Is your bedroom in the commanding position of the home? It would be better if your bedroom was more in command (further back) than your daughter’s. This establishes you as the father so you can support your daughter.

  • Is your bed in the commanding position of your bedroom?

  • Are there any doors that open and hit each other? This can mean arguments. You can learn how to correct this from a feng shui consultant, but for now, you can just be aware if you do have this happening in your home.

Because you’re the father, I’m assuming that you will want to do what you can to support your daughter. The Abundance area of the feng shui bagua map is related to the eldest daughter. This area is also related to a big tree, and what a big tree needs is water to grow and feel supported. To activate and support your daughter, some adjustments can be made to the Abundance area of your home. For instance, a water element like a fountain, or even purchasing fresh flowers in a vase of clean water. The flowers might be a wonderful idea, because you will have to refresh them frequently. Each time you do, you can remember that the purpose is to help your daughter grow and flourish in the world. The flowers also work to add joy into the home. Fresh fragrant flowers can unstick any negative energy.

Take a look at some of our blog posts, like Decorating with Seasonal Flowers and Do You Speak the Language of Flowers? for ideas on what kind of flowers to bring into your space for your needs. Also, be sure if you add a fountain, the water flows into the home - not out. Good luck in your new space with your family!

by Anjie Cho

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui check out the Mindful Design feng shui cerfication program. Laura Morris and I launched our program in September 2018. Check us out at www.mindfuldesignschool.com

Mindful Design is a new way to learn feng shui. Our a unique training program takes an holistic approach to learning the art of feng shui design. Mindful design is about becoming aware, and attentive, to the energy around you: both inner and outer qi. It is about promoting a better way of living and creating sacred spaces that support, and nourish.

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Q&A Sunday: What Should I Put on the Wall by My Bed to Attract Love?

What should I put on that wall by my bed? And I wouldn’t mind working on my love life!

Stephen, Brooklyn, NY

Hi Stephen,

Thanks for your question and the cute floor plan! Love the colors! Sometimes people are surprised to hear that even the execution of the floor plan can give me some content for the person’s Feng Shui.

What Should I Put on the Wall by My Bed to Attract Love? - Floor Plan.png

I’m not surprised you’d like to focus on love, because pink tones are associated with the Relationship area, and the grey is related to Completion and Joy. Maybe you’d like some more joy in your love life? And maybe some things need to end to make room for new love. I laid the feng shui bagua map on your bedroom plan, and two things stick out. The bed is the first.

The bed would ideally be rotated so the headboard along the wall that says “10 ft”. This puts you in the commanding position. But from your dimensions I see that you might not have enough room. If you can, I would advise it. If you can’t, the ideal thing to place on the wall next to the bed would be a mirror. It’s always a good idea to have space available on both sides of the bed. Even just a few inches will help. In regards to relationships, when you have that bed up next to the wall, there’s no space for a partner to come into your life. It’s important to have a space that is equal (or in your case, as big as you can make it), to attract an equal and balanced partner into your life. 

As far as what to put up on the wall in the bedroom, as I mentioned before, a mirror would be best if you can’t change the orientation of your bed. By placing a mirror on the side of the bed that’s up next to the wall, you can energetically and visually create that space. And since your bed is not in command, you can also place a mirror somewhere in the room so that you can see the door reflected in it when you’re in bed. By having the back of your head facing the entry, you’re not in command. This puts you at a disadvantage in many ways…one of which is that you may not be able to truly see all the possibilities for love clearly.

The second thing I noticed was that in your Relationship area you have your hamper! Yes, I know the hamper has to go somewhere, but maybe if you’re looking for a partnership, it’s better in a different bagua area! It may imply that you have old stinky laundry that’s keeping you from finding a partner! If it must be in that area, just be mindful to do your laundry regularly and not let it pile up. But if possible, best to move it anywhere else for now.

Finally, the last suggestion circles back to the colors pink and peach. In BTB feng shui, we have something called “peach blossom luck” which helps you to attract a partner. You can paint one or all of your walls pink or peach. But even pink or peach linens or pillows or other accessories will work. Find a large canvas at the art store and paint it a lovely shade of peach. It’s even effective to wear pink and peach.

Let us know how it goes! 

by Anjie Cho

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui check out the Mindful Design feng shui cerfication program. Laura Morris and I launched our program in September 2018. Check us out at www.mindfuldesignschool.com

Mindful Design is a new way to learn feng shui. Our a unique training program takes an holistic approach to learning the art of feng shui design. Mindful design is about becoming aware, and attentive, to the energy around you: both inner and outer qi. It is about promoting a better way of living and creating sacred spaces that support, and nourish.

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!

Q&A Sunday: Daybeds and Feng Shui, Part 2

I am not interested in bedroom position for attracting love, I have someone and we both have our own rooms and are happier like that. He likes to fall asleep watching TV, I can not stand a TV in my bedroom; he likes to eat in bed, I hate eating in bed; I like to stay up late, he likes to go to bed early, falling asleep watching TV. So not looking to "attract" a partner. We are both happy in our own space and our rooms are right across from each other. My question is: I have a day bed that looks like a couch; it has a bottom trundle that pulls out, and I use it for my dog to sleep next to me without being on me. I do the red sheets under a sheet on it since it is a daybed. How should it be positioned in my room? My kua number is 2, the room is south direction and would be called south east if standing in the center of the house. Should the side which looks like the back of a couch face the wall or should the end face the wall where my head sleeps at night? Thank you.

Feng Shui Learner

Dear Feng Shui Learner:

Hi there, thanks for reading our blog! This is a great question and comment on the Q&A Sunday: Daybeds and Feng Shui post from a few years ago. 

It’s good that you have created a comfortable life situation with your husband and your own spaces! Many couples are very happy with separate bedrooms, and it’s very common. 

In this case, your bed does not need any sort of red sheet. One reason for the red sheet, or red, is to energetically repair any separation with a partner. But you and your husband have chosen to have separate beds, and you’re not worried about any separation in your marriage. Second, the red would be used to energetically create a single bed in the case that you sleep with both mattresses. But you prefer to sleep alone on a single mattress, so the red sheet is not useful and doesn’t serve a purpose here. 

I practice BTB feng shui, which does not use kua numbers nor directions to locate beds. However, from the BTB perspective, you can locate the bed in the commanding position so that when you are lying in bed, you can see the door without being right in line with the door. If you sleep in the bed alone on the single twin only, then where you sleep with your head, that would be the headboard. It’s still not the best energetically for an adult to sleep with one side against a wall. This doesn’t allow the qi to flow around you well while you’re sleeping. But if you insist on the daybed, you can place a mirror on the wall where the daybed meets the wall to open up the space.

I’m happy to see you’ve already incorporated some feng shui in your life, and you seem to be a regular reader, so thank you! If you are interested in learning even more about how to apply feng shui, I encourage you to visit the Mindful Design School website and sign up to be notified for the next program!

by Anjie Cho

If you’d like to learn more about feng shui check out the Mindful Design feng shui cerfication program. Laura Morris and I just launched our program. Check us out at www.mindfuldesignschool.com

Mindful Design is a new way to learn feng shui. Our a unique training program takes an holistic approach to learning the art of feng shui design. Mindful design is about becoming aware, and attentive, to the energy around you: both inner and outer qi. It is about promoting a better way of living and creating sacred spaces that support, and nourish.

Thanks for reading our "Q&A Sunday".  We will be answering questions submitted by our readers. Click here to submit any Feng Shui or Green Design questions!