Q&A Sunday: Feng Shui for a Father and Daughter

We moved into a rental empty apartment, myself and adult daughter, and need to maximize space also because we love lots of space and room just to be. One room is big enough for a full bed and desk and has one small door for closet. The other room has one side wall as a huge closet and one small closet on the opposite wall for things like books. It has a mirror that will face east and the water, but shines into the bed no matter what position the bed is placed (so it can be covered at night). Because my ex and my son come to visit, I thought about a daybed with a trundle so when none of us are there, she has room for exercise also, since it has a big mirror, and to spend time during the day at the daybed. However I will be living with her for a while and do not wish to create bad energy for myself or future for herself. Can you please advise?

Syl P., Providence, RI

Hi Syl,

Thanks for writing in. I have not seen your floor plan, but in general it sounds like you need advice on how you’re going to survive living with your adult daughter in a small space. There is also the consideration of hosting your ex and your son. Since you wish to not create bad energy for yourself or for your daughter, I’m sensing there is some negativity there already. 

There are, of course, the mundane space planning aspect, but it sounds like you’ve thought this through. And since there’s no floor plan, there’s not much I can advise on. But what I can offer you is some tools to work with uplifting the space. 

Somethings to look out for:

  • Is your bedroom in the commanding position of the home? It would be better if your bedroom was more in command (further back) than your daughter’s. This establishes you as the father so you can support your daughter.

  • Is your bed in the commanding position of your bedroom?

  • Are there any doors that open and hit each other? This can mean arguments. You can learn how to correct this from a feng shui consultant, but for now, you can just be aware if you do have this happening in your home.

Because you’re the father, I’m assuming that you will want to do what you can to support your daughter. The Abundance area of the feng shui bagua map is related to the eldest daughter. This area is also related to a big tree, and what a big tree needs is water to grow and feel supported. To activate and support your daughter, some adjustments can be made to the Abundance area of your home. For instance, a water element like a fountain, or even purchasing fresh flowers in a vase of clean water. The flowers might be a wonderful idea, because you will have to refresh them frequently. Each time you do, you can remember that the purpose is to help your daughter grow and flourish in the world. The flowers also work to add joy into the home. Fresh fragrant flowers can unstick any negative energy.

Take a look at some of our blog posts, like Decorating with Seasonal Flowers and Do You Speak the Language of Flowers? for ideas on what kind of flowers to bring into your space for your needs. Also, be sure if you add a fountain, the water flows into the home - not out. Good luck in your new space with your family!

by Anjie Cho


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